Sunday Daybook

Outside my window...  grey clouds and white snow

I am thinking...  It has been nine years since my first homebirth.  Having Thomas at home helped and healed me in ways I may never fully understand.  Happy birthday, Thomas!

I am thankful for...  this restful Sunday afternoon

From the learning rooms...  I am back in charge of schooling, and our first week back in full swing has gone very well.  I am also thankful for that!

From the kitchen...  The kids had pancakes and blueberry syrup for breakfast; my breakfast was a smoothie made of blueberries, banana, spinach, and a raw egg.  For lunch I turned some leftover mashed potatoes into a soup I called Corn Chowder.  Thomas requested homemade pizza for his birthday dinner, so we are going to load it down with veggie toppings and serve salad on the side.  His birthday dessert will be Hot Fudge Pudding Cake and chocolate ice cream.

I am wearing...  navy blue scrub pants, my blue Mass City hoodie, and long underwear!

I am reading...  The Hobbit

I am hoping...  this week will be as productive and quick as last

I am hearing...  Thomas, Mary, and Lucy engaged in conversation about what makes birthdays fun.  General consensus: presents, cake, and talking to Grandma

One of my favorite things...  my to-do list!  I gave up using the one on my Tablet and went back to old fashioned paper in a little spiral.

A few plans for the rest of the week...  school, cleaning, cooking, laundry, exercise; nothing special, just daily life.

Lessons Learned

Turns out my last night at work really was my last night at work.  I was scheduled for a few shifts through the end of the month, so I left a note asking if anybody wanted them.  They all got taken, so as far as I know, I am done!

The years I spent working, particularly the last eight months, have taught me a lot about myself.  I can work more hours, and sleep fewer, than I would have thought.  Staying up all night is much easier for me than getting up early in the morning.  I will never be a "people person" but I can work very well with folks, thanks, in part, to my naturally high tolerance for B.S.

Finally, I learned that I can't have it all.  I don't want to have it all.  When I first started working, I thought I was unhappy because it was "just a job".  So, I found a job that, in theory, might have led to further education and an advancing career.  The possibility seemed exciting at first, but soon I wasn't so sure.  Then I found out I'm pregnant, and it became obvious that what I really want is to be home again.  There is nothing wrong with balancing career and family.  I have utmost respect for all Moms who do it!  It just isn't right for me.

So while I am grateful for all my experiences and opportunities of the last four years, even more, I am happy to be home full time.  I am also ready for the lessons that this next season of life has to teach me.

I Gave Notice

My adventures in Employed Motherhood are coming to an end. 

Pretty soon I will be home full time again, and I am very thankful.  I am grateful to have a husband who understands my heart on this, who is willing to give up his own time with the family so that I can be home.  For the last four years, no matter if I was at home or at work, I almost constantly felt I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Soon I will be back to living my vocation the way I believe God intends for me to live it, and it is thanks to the sacrifices Chuck is making. 

So, thank you Sweetie.  You alone can truly understand how much this means to me.

Mama's Cornbread

Read this post only if you are interested in learning how to make the perfect cornbread.  This is a recipe I came up with after years of experimenting with different recipes, pans, and techniques.  Truly, this is the perfect Southern-style cornbread; not too sweet, not too dry, not too spongy; crumbly enough (when still hot) to stir into a bowl of chili, delicious by itself when cool.  This is the recipe I use the weekend before Thanksgiving; cut into cubes and dried it makes wonderful breadcrumbs for real homemade stuffing.

A note about the size of this batch- this makes enough for us to have a few (or 3-4) pieces each for dinner, with some leftover for snacking on when it is cold.  We bake it using the largest Lodge cast iron skillet, I think it is the 15" pan.  If you want to make less, half the proportions and use a smaller skillet.  But don't even bother trying to make this bread in anything other than cast iron.  It just won't be as good.

Can you tell I'm proud of this recipe?  ;-)  Here it is, as written for the kids to follow:

* First, put 1 stick butter in biggest cast iron skillet.  Turn oven on to 350* and put pan in while preheating.
* In large bowl, beat 4 eggs.  Add 3 cups buttermilk, 2 Tbsp sugar, 1 tsp salt, 1 tsp baking soda.  Beat together.
* Stir in 3 cups cornmeal (preferably yellow), 1 cup unbleached flour.
* Stir in melted butter from skillet.
* Pour batter into hot skillet.  Bake about 35 to 40 minutes or until done (toothpick comes out clean).

Suggested to let sit a few minutes before you cut and serve.  Robert likes to melt more butter over the top, but it really is just as good without.

Good eatin', Ya'll!!!

Ultrasound

Baby's legs.  Knees together to the right, little tootsies on the left.

Baby's face.  His/Her mouth is open and you can just see the tongue.  Baby is using our placenta like a pillow.  I assume the nose won't look like that in person.

Looking pretty darn good for 329 weeks pregnant.

2013

January is almost over, and this year is promising to be full of new things.

#1- New Job  Chuck left last night for truck driving school.  As much as we hate to be apart, this seemed like our best option.  It seems sudden, but we've talked about this for a long, long time.  Which leads to...

#2- New Not-Job  Hopefully very soon I will be able to put in notice at work.  I already had to quit my part-time position with Mental Health because scheduling conflicts prevented me from getting enough hours to justify the drive.  The full-time job has been wrong for me from Day One, so I am excited to quit.  Even more, I am very excited to be "just a mom" again.  Everybody has done a really good job keeping things going since I've been working full time, but I have ideas for things I want to change and improve.  It just can't hurt to get more housework done.

#3- New Baby  This one we still have a while to wait for.  Our baby #8 is due mid-June; on Father's Day, actually.  I am 20 weeks today, so halfway done.  I'm feeling pretty good.  Hopefully there will be some ultrasound pictures to share after Tuesday.

That's not everything, but those are the main things.  It feels like we just gotta get through the next few weeks, and then hopefully things will be easier and better for all of us.

God bless!

For lack of a better word

"Oh, are you a runner?"

"Um... I guess. Yep. I dunno."

For whatever reason the phrase "wannabe" has negative connotations for me. Like when we were in high school and somebody was called a "wannabe" it was never meant in a flattering manner. But it is an apt description for one who aspires to something, but isn't quite there yet.

Guess which one is the Wannabe.

I have now owned four pairs of running shoes (including one pair returned and one pair ordered but not yet received). I have more pairs of exercise pants than jeans. I'm running about 20 miles a week; that's not a lot, but it is enough to prove my commitment, I think. I haven't lost any blackened toenails yet, but I think that's mainly because I figured out early on I need to wear men's socks (they're larger). And I sure know more about my feet than ever before, right down to my Morton's Toe.

And yet, somehow, I just don't quite identify myself as a Runner. Not publicly, at least. I feel like I haven't earned it.

What will that take?

I'm going nuts without any races on my calendar. One day I'm ready to register for a marathon, the next day I think I must be crazy to even consider it. The Route 66 Marathon in Tulsa, OK gives special finisher's medals for first-timers. (And an extra trinket for visiting The Center of the Universe. I've been there!) But, ugh, I'd have to GET THERE first. And then actually finish.

Cuh-RAZY.

So, for now, I'm happy with calling myself a "wannabe" instead of a runner. I expect that to change, though.